Twenty lessons from twenty years of life

 Advice from a 20 yr old...

1. It's just not humanly possible to have it ALL figured out.
2. You can plan but remember that you cannot predict the future.
3. Leave the first sign of disrespect, animosity, or odd character. 
4. Learn how to be content with the possibility of living life alone; if you can't be by yourself you can't really be with anyone.
   
5. Leave you hometown even if it's just an hour away, even if it's just for a year. No one says you have to stay gone. 
6. If you have the support system, use it, that is a privilege. 
7. You do not have to for relationships with people just because they are family. 
8. If you don't have a way, FIND A WAY. 
9. Do not idolize people. Especially celebrities guys c'mon. 
10. Dream big but dream realistically because chasing a fantasy it just as bad as chasing nothing. 
11. Please be yourself while your still young. Wear that outfit, do that makeup look, try that hobby, try that aesthetic. 
12. It pays nothing to be kind to people. Even when they are not kind in return that says more about their character, not yours. 
13. 
    People will label you however they want no matter what you say or do and that has nothing to do with you at the end of the day as long as you know you're not doing anything wrong. 
14. Forgive them even when you're still hurt, even when you know they're not sorry because, that un-forgiveness is only hurting you. 
15. Take your self respect seriously. Do not things you know you would look at someone else differently for doing. 
16. Learn to be okay with being misunderstood because there are people who are hellbent on doing so. 
17. Things like music taste, clothes, etc have absolutely nothing to do with who you truly are at the end of the day. 
18. Enjoy the material but remember they are just materials. 
19. Work hard for the life you want. otherwise don't complain if you're not where you want to be. 
20. At some point you cannot blame you life circumstances and problems on why your life is the way it is. Eventually because YOUR responsibility to pick yourself up and give yourself a good life. Easier said then done but not impossible. 
21. Bonus: A relationship should NOT be the main desire of your life and to depend on a partener to give you the life you want is foolish. 

I hope some of these helped you. If you have anything to add feel free to comment! 

Thanks for reading! 🌸

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The Brilliance that is Pride and Prejudice

 One of the best Novels ever Written: Pride and Prejudice 

   Elizabeth Bennet is the main female character of the classic novel Pride and Prejudice written by Jane Austen who is known for her complex characters. She is one of my favorite characters ever because she represents what it is to be complex, strong natured, witty, full of personality, and full of self respect. I love the fact that she had this insanely rich man propose to her and she refused because she thought his character to be awful. It would have been a smart move for her to accept the marriage because she from a poor family and she would have been able to help them and live a beyond comfortable life but she said no because she loved herself more and she refused to believe that marriage was only a business transaction. Elizabeth would have rather been alone before she married a man she couldn't see herself with. That's not common not even today

Mr Darcy is this character that comes off arrogant, he's not willing to talk and it's obvious he really has no interest in anyone outside who he already knows at all. He's one of my favorite male protagonist because there's so much about him that you do not see in the beginning and it's fun watching him open up because he's in love. Mr Darcy's actually a really fun guy. He is caring and he's selfless and when you get to know his history and who he is beyond Elizabeth's point of view he ends up being so interesting. He is a great example of “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Matthew Macfayden did a great job at representing his shy but sweet nature that's below the hard exterior. Watching him fall in love with Elizabeth in the movie is great and reading about how he talked about her and how he felt in the book made it feel deeper and it made him more human. He is a true YEARNER.

There's so many other great characters in this book that I could sit here and talk about for hours and I could go on and on about so many of the situations that happened, but this is just about the two main characters and why I love them and why this book is just so amazing and I generally think of you love romance that's deep and beautiful you would love Pride and Prejudice. The book is even deeper and in my opinion even better than the movie because it goes into greater detail and you see a lot more and it's actually funny. Overall Jane Austen made history with this book. I'm sure we already know this and I truly encourage anyone to engage in the world that is Pride and Prejudice because it will always be one of my favorite things in the world. 

Do you think you would ever give Pride and Prejudice a chance? Let me know what you think if you've already watched or read it!

Thanks for reading! 🌸

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Maybe My Standards Are High... And That's Okay

Never Apologize for Having High Standards

When I was seventeen, I lowered my standards for the first time in my life. At the time, I didn't think of it that way. I thought I was simply opening my heart and giving someone a chance. Looking back now, I realize I wasn't just making room for love I was making room to lose myself.

I met my first boyfriend one summer through my best friend. I was already going through a difficult season of life, and for the first time, someone seemed to genuinely like me. He was funny, easy to talk to, and I was finally at an age where I wanted to experience what everyone else seemed to have already experienced. In this generation, it feels like people start dating so young, and I had always been the girl who was careful because I was afraid of getting hurt. My standards had always been high, but somewhere along the way I convinced myself that maybe they were too high. Maybe I was asking for too much. So I ignored the little voice telling me to be cautious and decided to give love a chance.

That relationship lasted two and a half years. I'm not going to tell every detail of what happened because some parts of that story belong to me, but what I will say is that somewhere during those two and a half years, I betrayed myself. I compromised pieces of who I was because I loved him, and I thought that was what love looked like. I convinced myself that the constant hurt, the uncertainty, the breakups, and the emotional exhaustion were simply part of being in a relationship. I didn't know any different. It was my first love, and I genuinely believed that if you loved someone enough, you stayed.

By the time our relationship ended during my sophomore year of college, I felt like a completely different person. I looked different, I felt different, and I carried pain that I didn't even know how to explain. Even after the breakup, it took two months before I could truly let go because he continued reaching out, and I was terrified of what would happen if I cut him off completely. It wasn't until my therapist gently reminded me that I was no longer responsible for him that I finally found the courage to block him.

I wasn't trying to get over him anymore I was trying to become myself again because that relationship had taken my independence. I had stopped doing the things I loved. When I finally walked away, I was going to find the girl I had lost.

As I healed, I realized something that completely changed the way I look at relationships. The standards I have today weren't created because I think I'm better than anyone else. They exist because I know exactly what happens when I abandon them. I know what it feels like to settle because you're afraid of being alone. I know what it feels like to ignore your intuition because you want to be loved. Most importantly, I know what it feels like to wake up one day and realize you've become someone you no longer have respect for.

People still tell me that my standards are too high. They say I'm too picky, that I'll never find someone if I keep expecting so much. Maybe they're right. Maybe my standards are high. But I would rather wait for someone who shares my ambition, my values, and my vision for the future than spend years trying to convince someone to become the person I need them to be. I want someone who dreams because I dream, who works hard because I work hard. I want someone who wants to build a beautiful life because that's exactly what I'm working toward every single day. Those aren't impossible expectations they're simply the kind of partnership I hope to build.

If I could sit down with my seventeen-year-old self, I wouldn't tell her not to fall in love. I don't regret anything I went through. I'm grateful I learned the lesson so long. Loving someone isn't what hurt me. Losing myself was. I would simply remind her that love should never require you to abandon your peace, your values, or your self-respect. The right person won't make you to become smaller so they'll feel bigger.

So no, I won't lower my standards again. Not because I'm arrogant and not because I think I'm perfect. But because I fought too hard to become myself again, and that's a version of me I'm never willing to lose.

Thank you for reading. 🌸

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Why I started Journaling

Dear, diary.... 

I started Journaling almost a a year ago as a way to release some of my thought especially because at the time I didn't really have anyone I could talk to. Writing things down on paper seemed to help. I was going though something not a lot of people would have understood so I wrote to God every night because I felt like I could trust Him with my thoughts and of course I can. 

Journaling has this little stigma around it that it has to be pretty and aesthetic to mean something and it doesn't. I just bout a cheap book and write about my day, good or bad. I tell Him what I did, how that thing made me feel, whats been on my mind, and more. Writing it down makes it feel real because sometimes I don't even feel like I'm on earth it's like I'm just floating around. So journaling has been an outlet to ground myself and remind myself that I'm real, my feelings are real, and if I have no one to listen to my thought I have God. 

Even if you don't have anyone to write to specifically you can write to your future self or just the diary in general. It doesn't have to be anything special either it can literally be about what you had for breakfast or the weather. One of my favorite things about journaling is that I get to look back and read about myself. There are moments in my journals where I was going through a hard time and now that I'm out of those times reading it shows me how far I've come. If you've ever wanted to try it I say go for it and even if you don't think it's for you at least you tried something new. 

So do you think you would ever try journaling? If you do what made you start? 

Thanks for reading! 🌸

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My Favorite Makeup Looks

These are some of my favorite makeup looks. I do the basic blush, lashes, lips, but I really want to try eyeshadow looks lately especially like in the pictures. They are so pretty and after experimenting I know what I look best in. 

Whats is your favorite style of makeup?

Thanks for reading! 🌸

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